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One of the most difficult things to do when you try to meet a girl is to break the ice. Unfortunately, men have to have the nerves of steel and be blessed with the gift of conversation; and let’s be honest, trying to meet a girl is scary as hell and most men were late when God was distributing the conversation skills to humanity, hence, men created the so famous pick-up lines as way to break the ice, however, women are not stupid, they know that men didn’t put a lot of thoughts in the few lines they throw to them.

Women are not easy to approach because they want to know Mr. Right and not a looser, although, how do they know who is Mr. Right and who is a looser? Well, they don’t know, they think that Mr. Right will knock out their door and magically they will know that is Mr. Right, but that doesn’t happen, women are as scared as men, so, by default, women think that all the men that approach to them are creepy. If a woman thinks you are a threat to her, even if you throw the best pick-up lines she will continue building a wall between you and her, so in other words, the ice will be so thick that not even with a hammer you will be able to break it.

Forget what everybody told you about a good pick-up line; it is time to be witty, I promised you that this technic has a great success rate and you can apply it almost anywhere, is not bullet proof of course, it can be scary at the beginning, but believe me, once you practice it couple of times, it will be like riding a bicycle.

One day in college I observed that a lot of women are good friends of gay people and somehow, gays were not afraid at all to stand up in front of women and say hi, so I started thinking that I needed to know how they overcome that fear.

At that time, a close friend of mine happened to be gay, so I asked him “Hey, I have a question for you, how come you always have new female friends and you are never afraid of breaking the ice with them? What do you tell them? As soon as you start talking to them they can spend hours talking to you”.

My friend explained me that meeting girls to him was exactly the same than meeting guys to me. “Look”, he said, “you are scared of approaching to women because you fear rejection, and it’s normal, most likely you are trying to approach to them because you like them, so if they reject you, it means that they don’t like you and who wants that. When you are in a bar or any other place, and there’s a guy next to you, you just need to say hi and both of you will start a conversation because you have no fears”. Well, that totally made sense; I admit that I hate to be rejected.

My friend continued the conversation and he said, “The other problem is that women are also afraid of men, somehow in their minds, they think that just because a man says hi, he is already thinking about having sex with her, and that might be right, but in real life, you are not going to have sex with a girl just because you said hi; when you break the ice with another guy, the other guy is not afraid of you, he won’t think you want to sleep with him because you said something, so engaging in a conversation is very easy, I can meet any girl at anytime because I’m not afraid of them and they are not afraid of me”.

Ok, so at this time I know that guys are afraid of women and women are afraid of men, and women are not afraid of gays because they are not interested in women, so it is easy for them to have a lot of female friends, but wait, I still don’t know exactly what my friend says to women, does he approach saying “hi, my name is John and I’m gay”.

So I continued the conversation with my gay friend I asked, “Ok, what exactly you tell them when you break the ice with them? I mean, nobody would guess you are gay, you look very masculine to me”. “Ah, that’s easy”, he said “when I approach to a girl I just need to say something nice about their outfit, like oh my god, those shoes are very pretty, where did you get them? And that time they know I’m gay and I’m not a threat to them and the ice is broken”.

Wow, sounds simple but scary, if I approach to a girl is because I like her, so if she thinks I’m gay, how do I convince her I’m not? What if she tells everybody I’m gay when I’m not?

At that point and because overall I’m pretty open minded, I decided that I was going to pretend to be gay to meet girls, but I needed to do a little homework so I read about women’s fashion to at least have an idea of what I was going to talk about.

Now I was ready to start my little experiment, and of course, the first couple of times, didn’t’ go that well.

The first time I wasn’t yet very confident about fashion so I decided to say something about makeup, I saw the first girl and I said, “Hi, that lipstick looks fabulous on you” and she said “Jerk, what are you talking about, I’m not wearing any lipstick”. So I learned that I needed to actually see if they are wearing make-up or not, I just assumed she was wearing lipstick and I was so nervous that when I was close to her I didn’t even think about looking at her lips.

The second time I decided to say something about a girl’s hair, it was easier, at the end, women always complain that men never pay attention to their hair when they change something. I found the next victim and I said, “Hi, I just wanted to say that you have a lovely hair, is that natural or you colored it”, but it didn’t’ go well, “Idiot, are you saying I’m not a natural blond, if that’s your idea for a pick-up line, let me tell you, you suck” she said.

Wow, two rejections in one day, and even worse than ones that happen in a bar, at least in a bar women just turn around, ignore you or fly away from you, no, this time was worst, one called me jerk, the second called me idiot and that I suck. I was about to drop the towel, when I decided to try with fashion now.

I saw my third victim; she was wearing black leather pants, a gray sweater, beige high heels and a beige purse. I approached to her and I said “Hi, I must say I love how you combined your outfit, is that a Marc Jacobs purse? Is lovely and combines perfectly with your shoes”. Unbelievable, she didn’t run away and she immediately started talking to me; she said, “Oh, no, this is a Dolce & Gabbana purse, you also look great, I love your style, do you study here as well?” Believe it or not, we started talking about the campus, about some professors and 45 minutes later she gave me her number without me asking for it; I was shocked, it was so easy to talk to a girl when you don’t have to think about a cheesy pick-up line and when both of you are not afraid of each other. They day after I called her just to say hi, and she invited be to grab a coffee, so we met in a local Starbucks and we chatted again for like an hour. Another score to me, for the first time I wasn’t the one inviting a girl to go out.

Two days later I called her again and I asked her if she wanted to go to a party with me and she said yes. We arrived at the party, holding hands, of course, like friends, and then my male friends immediately said “Dude, is she your new girlfriend?” She was shocked; she asked me “Are you straight?”, “Yes, why do you ask” I said, “Well I always thought you were gay” she said, “Why did you think I was gay” I said making my surprise face, “well, you were not afraid of me when you first approached and you paid attention to my outfit and you listened to me about my purse, etc, so I thought you were gay” she said. I made a pause and I said, “Well. I was confident when I first approached because I’m a confident person and because I really like you, and I said nice things about your outfit because I liked the way you look on it, and I’m a good listener so I paid attention to everything you said and because I like you so much I was fascinated with everything you were saying”.

Well, once she knew I was straight and I liked her, we started dating for about four months, we were not very compatible and I started paying attention to another girl, but the message here is that pretending to be gay really works to break the ice, I can’t tell you how many girls I met like that, although the end wasn’t always what I expected, some girls felt betrayed when they knew I was straight, but that technic works 90% of the time. One day I met a cute girl in a flight, she was sitting next to me and before she tried to build a wall between us by putting her headphones I said “I love your nails, they are so beautiful”, guess what, we spend 4 hours chatting in the flight and we dated for couple of months.

So don’t be afraid to try this technic, you will say that is not your thing, but let me ask you, do you prefer to be unsuccessful most of the times you want to meet a girl or passed as a gay four couple of hours or days but with the ice already broken and an open path for a relation?

 

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